An Unexpected Fathers Day Gift – My Son Gave Me My Eulogy
With Father’s Day approaching, I received a gift I could never have anticipated. It didn’t come wrapped or delivered. It came in the form of a letter—from my son.
This wasn’t just any letter. It was raw. Honest. Deep. The kind that resonated deep in my soul. As I read it, I found myself moved to tears—not because of grand gestures or the poetic words but because it reflected back to me a profound truth: the way I’ve lived has shaped the way my kids see the world—and me.
It reminded me of something we often forget: what feels small or unnoticed in our daily rhythm—our words, our habits, our attention—is often what speaks the loudest to our kids. They’re always watching. And sometimes, they’re gracious enough to tell us what they see.
Since this letter moved me so profoundly, I asked him if I could share it with others. My hope is that it inspires you—especially if you’re a parent—to reflect on how you are currently living your life and with that, the legacy you’re leaving. Not the one written in resumes or revenue, but the one written in the hearts of those closest to you that will go on to affect future generations you will never meet.
Enjoy the gift. And if you’re a dad—Happy Father’s Day.
Written by: Brett Pedersen
While looking ahead to this Father's Day and contemplating what might be a thoughtful gift for my dad, I couldn't help but think back to the many gifts he has given me over the course of my life. The ones I find myself appreciating most these days are those that reveal themselves to me gradually as I progress in both age and maturity. So this Father's Day, I want to unpack and appreciate the ways in which my dad has both enriched and shaped my life thus far; as well as the ways he has informed my approach to it and the things I will seek to derive from it
There are many qualities that have allowed my dad to become the highly effective individual he is today. His willfulness, intensity, instincts, and drive are fundamental to his success in both life and business. These attributes are impressive on their own, but there is much that sits below the surface that informs them: a complex value system and character shaped through lived experiences that creates a framework for meaningful living.
The Art of Presence: Quality Over Quantity
I feel it is important to start with this principle as a callback to my Dad's reflection on our recent father-son trip to Japan in The Art of Living Fully: A Father-Son Adventure in Japan. My Dad has always placed tremendous value on shared experiences, but the intensity and intentionality with which he has pursued them is something I’ve really come to appreciate in recent years.
In his reflection, he unpacked the Japanese concept of Yutori: the conscious act of slowing down to savor the world around you. Being fully present—breathing deeply, appreciating life’s beauty, and making space to reflect. We experienced Yutori in its truest sense in those two weeks, which felt more like two months.
When you give someone your time, you validate their place and value in your life. When you share new experiences, you create bonds that transcend the ordinary—building memories that become the foundation of deeper connection and understanding. His gift of quality time and relentless pursuit of adventure over the years has slowed down time and is something I am forever thankful for.
The Power of Play & Curiosity: What Fuels a Father's Heart
The most fitting descriptor of my father is a "big kid," a characteristic that is significant and important to his success. While maturity is an essential virtue, the Bible calls us to be childlike in our nature. As children, we are free and unburdened by excessive knowledge and responsibility. Being childlike invites the possibility for wonder, curiosity, expression, discovery, and even mischief. All of these are essential for joy and play.
The weight and demands of the adult world often encourage us to leave these qualities behind, but my dad never fully abandoned them. While navigating market crashes, bankruptcies, product failures, betrayals, and back stabbings, he never lost that childlike spark within him. During his stint in the toy business, the "why" behind his work—facilitating that joy and wonder for kids—never escaped him.
As a child, who better to relate to than another big kid? The significance of having such a spirited role model has been understated but incredibly profound in creating vitality in my life. As a man, retaining a playful spirit and desire for wonder and adventure is essential for personal fulfillment. I am proud to have a dad that still lists “having fun” among his top priorities in life.
Strength in Vulnerability: The Courage to Feel
Perhaps the greatest obstacle to father-son bonding is a lack of emotional availability. Human beings are the only species that needs to actively defy our base instincts to be successful. As men, we feel called to display a certain level of strength and determination for ourselves and the ones we love.
While this drive is an essential part of our makeup, many men actually hide behind it to avoid addressing uncomfortable realities. We are vulnerable, we need connection, and we need support. As I speak to more and more guys my age, I hear increasingly across the board about how humanizing and important emotional moments from their dads really are.
It takes courage to admit to and access your emotions. I am fortunate to have always had a dad who combines both strength and tenderness. Some of his most profound and impactful moments have come in times when he bared his soul to me, admitting to his pain, sorrow, and vulnerability. I actually viewed him as possessing more strength for having done so. Speaking at the funerals of his parents and grandmother, the affection he has shown myself, my sister, and my mom—it has all had a profound impact on the way I view my own masculinity and the type of man I want to be for my own kids someday.
The Guilt You Carry: A Son's Perspective on Parental Sacrifice
This is an area that I am happy to lend my perspective to as my dad has publicly expressed in his own writings a level of guilt he holds regarding time spent away from family through business and travel. It is true that his travel was frequent, and business often called him away. The reality looking back is that I had a father who prioritized intentional time with myself and those he loved as often as possible. His presence, impact, and love were felt; in my mind, there is nothing to forgive.
Sacrifice is not usually a joyous experience. It requires that one gives some of their limited time to one area over another for the promise of a better outcome across the board. It’s only sacrifice if both things carry weight and significance. The pressure my dad carried to provide the life and opportunity for my family that he has and the prices he’s paid to get there are not lost on me.
Life is a series of learnings, and what we perceive as failures are often our best teachers. I have heard from a few other fathers who have listened to my dad speak on these matters and many harbour similar feelings. My dad was far from absent in my life and I want him to know and appreciate that. I also understand how torturous looking backwards can be; I appreciate that he has those feelings speaking to them. We share a great relationship as adults and continue to prioritize time together.
The father is cursed to earn by the sweat of his brow and to sacrifice for his family. I appreciate how my dad undertook this responsibility and how he was able to remain present and impactful in my life. I hope to be able to navigate such complexities as well as he has when I journey through fatherhood.
Blueprint for Authenticity: Living Values Out Loud
The key to this life is to know thyself. What inspires you? What is it that you love? What makes you tick? Having explored Yutori I would like to conclude this piece by introducing another Japanese concept: Ikigai.
Ikigai is your reason for being. It surmises that your life's purpose is found at the intersection of what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for.
Growing up, I had a front-row seat to my Dad's journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. I've watched him grapple with his purpose and a myriad of outside influences, some good and some harmful, ultimately discovering his own Ikigai. Founding a new company out of the ashes of one torn from him and bringing his dream of building a life in Kelowna with my Mom to fruition has been incredibly gratifying to witness. Watching his continued passion for adventure and investment in outdoor pursuits is inspiring to myself and many others.
My dad has always pushed the idea that we are divinely called to be different. We recently bonded over a shared love of punk-rock music, which is centered on an ethos of rebellion and individuality. He taught me that your authentic self is the greatest thing you can offer to the world. By living in line with your truth, passions, and values, you not only leave your unique mark but also give others permission to do the same. Through starting my journey as a solopreneur, taking risks, and investing in my own passions for music and comedy, my dad has encouraged and championed me every step of the way as I seek to discover my Ikigai.
We all want to make our dads proud, but this Father's Day, I'm proud of my dad for embracing his purpose and never losing sight of his individuality. One of the greatest gifts he could have ever given me was being himself in the midst of life’s trials and tribulations. His example and encouragement inspire me to do the same.
Happy Father’s Day Dad, I love you.
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