I have so many fond memories of growing up on my parents acreage.
High hopes for life, adventures abounding and the seemingly endless possibilities for life. I was an active kid (still am) and there was rarely a day that did not go by that I was not out exploring the trails and forests that surrounded where we lived.
On one fateful day, I was surprised with a gift from my parents to help aid in my exploration. It was my first real bicycle: a beauty Raleigh 20” MX! I jumped on it, started eagerly cranking the pedals, heading out for my first spin.
Living on an acreage meant we were surrounded by gravel roads. As a result, my first ride ended in tears, as I lay on the ground with ripped jeans and blood flowing from my knees and elbows.
I had just learned a tough lesson about the importance of braking and balance on loose gravel. As a result of the fall, I was devastated and reluctant to ride again. The bike, once a symbol of freedom, had become a source of fear.
As time passed, the wounds healed, and the memory of that painful fall began to fade. The sight of my friends enjoying their bikes rekindled my desire to ride again. I eventually got back on my bike, ready to explore once more.
I am sure you can also recall similar stories from your youth and you may be asking why tell a story about something so trivial. I have come to learn that all truth works on simple principles that this story can help us understand.
It would have been easy to be intimidated by the bike and to give it up because of the trauma from the crash and the resulting wounds. Sure there was the hope and aspiration of being able to navigate trails, feeling the thrill and exhilaration but only after the difficulty of learning to ride. However this could easily have been snuffed out if I had chosen to be consumed by the fear of falling and the pain that would come as a result.
This principle makes sense when thinking about learning any new skill that has possible consequences, however Isn’t this also how most of us default as we face challenges in life?
We go out of our way avoiding taking risks that could result in consequences (whether real or imaginary) and instead choose to stay comfortable. It is so much safer to be a bystander in life, playing it safe, versus embracing the courage necessary to live outside our comfort zones – which is the only way we can actually expand it.
Whether it is mustering up the chutzpah needed to step out on stage to make a presentation, asking out the intimidating girl on a date, or launching a new business idea. It requires us to embrace courage; meaning taking action despite the uncertainty of the outcome. There is the risk of failing; making a mistake, falling down, scuffing our knees and questioning if we should do it again.
When we do fall down, the key is to not stay down. We should not just “go through” the challenges and difficulties but rather find the way to “grow through” them. This means taking time to reflect, unpacking the lessons to be learned and in so doing, looking for the purpose in the pain.
There are few things that we as humans need in order to survive: food, water, sleep, shelter, companionship. The base levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. To this list I would add one more essential element: We need to struggle.
No different than going to the gym to break down muscle to build it back stronger, your struggles in life will either beat the strength out of you or build the strength into you. You get to decide with your response if your struggles will subdue you or serve you.
This past summer I had the opportunity to travel with a group of founders to Necker, the infamous island playground owned by Sir Richard Branson. It is an incredible spot and the ultimate destination if you love outdoor tropical pursuits.
On the third day of the trip a bike ride on Virgin Gorda was scheduled. I had been warned ahead of time that the ride was not for the faint of heart with several steep climbs. In my mind it was a no brainer as it was an opportunity to bike with a legendary entrepreneurial icon.
I woke up early and noticed that it was both windy and raining. I thought that due to the conditions, that perhaps the ride would be canceled. At 6am an announcement came, that the ride was on and to meet down at the docks.
When I arrived I was stunned to see only Richard and his assistant. We hopped on the boat and as we crossed the channel Richard leaned over and asked me “are you open for an adventure?” My response was “Richard, if you want to do it, then I am in!”
What I later learned is that they typically do a shorter ride; however on this trip, we were going to do the full Strive Cycle Loop.
There is a famous quote by Zig Ziglar: “success occurs when opportunity meets preparation.” The ride was hard and while under 20 km in length, it was made up of some steep and punchy hills. In reflection, beyond the poor weather conditions, I now understand why there was not a crowd of people eager to join. For the average person it would have been very physically demanding; however as a result of years of consistent riding, I was in a position to say “yes” when the opportunity came knocking.
I still pinch myself, thinking about this rare air experience. Not only was I physically challenged, I had the opportunity to go on a solo ride with one of my heroes. The lap around the island left me breathless and sweaty but soulfully uplifted as a result of the rich conversations and leaving an incredible memory.
According to Jocko Willink: Discipline equal’s freedom. Meaning we need to get comfortable being uncomfortable by embracing the necessary discipline of today to prepare us for freedom to enjoy the opportunities of tomorrow. Otherwise stated: do now what others won't, we can do later what others can't!
With that in mind, the real story is that at 74 years of age, Richard is a total beast on his bike! Despite being 23 years younger, I did not have a unique advantage over him. It was so inspiring to watch him take on the hills without hesitation.
He is strong mentally and physically. This is only possible because of his level of health and vitality which is a result of years of disciplined training pushing him outside of his comfort zone. However, knowing that how you do one thing is how you do everything, it also explains why he is a brilliant business leader and an extraordinary family man.
Reflecting on my upbringing, I am grateful that I dusted myself off and got back on my bike. That when considering riding, to remain hopeful and focused on the possibilities vs being consumed by fear of the potential pain and consequences. Along with making consistent deposits in my value of personal fitness, my unique experience with Sir Richard was only made possible because of that one simple choice.
Considering this the question to reflect and ask yourself:
Where in life have you been knocked down and as a result have now chosen to avoid reengaging?
Of the struggles you are currently experiencing, how are they preparing you for when a future opportunity comes knocking?
When envisioning the ideal vision of your future self, what uncomfortable decisions are you making that are moving you closer to this reality?
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