Personally, I've realized that much of my life has been lived on the surface. Over the past three decades as an entrepreneur, I've been consumed by the relentless pursuit of business goals. However, this has often led me to skim through life's events, neglecting the deeper understanding available.
In last week's newsletter, Vijay delved into the importance of reflection, drawing upon Socrates' timeless wisdom that the unexamined life is not worth living. To aid you in cultivating a habit of introspection, he shared a set of thought-provoking questions.
Reflection hasn't come easily to me. Stillness in thought feels awkward, and I often find myself drifting towards thinking about future aspirations, where I derive comfort. Yet, I've come to recognize that my identity shouldn't solely hinge on achievements. Rather, true growth stems from self-awareness, fostered through personal development, feedback, and intentional introspection.
In my journey, mentors have helped illuminate for me a crucial truth: valuing oneself based solely on accomplishments leads to a perpetual cycle of work and, if not checked, the endless pursuit of more. We are “human beings” not “human doings.” True worth lies in who we become, not just what we achieve.
Writing "Start-Up Santa" compelled me to scrutinize my entrepreneurial journey at a very deep level. While journaling helped document events, it was through the introspection that came from authoring the book that uncovered valuable insights that would help me truly understand and grow.
In the book I tell a story of how I used a planned time of reflection to design a new business. My first company had gone through a restructuring (fancy word for bankruptcy). After the recapitalization and two years of struggle, I had come to the harsh realization that the business model was broken and more money could not fix it.
Coming to grips with this sobering reality, I decided to take the time to conscientiously sit down and reflect on what happened. I first asked the question "describe what happened?" I then asked myself "what do I love about what I do?" listing out all the areas of enjoyment. This was followed by asking "what do I hate?" Amazingly this final question and the resulting list was the most helpful.
By generating the list of “hates” I was clear on what I never wanted to do again and inadvertently created the foundational framework for what would become my next start up. This new business would go on to become infinitely more enjoyable to build and ultimately provided more meaningful results.
The key point is that this change only happened as a result of actively engaging in the practice of reflection. Unfortunately, it often takes a crisis to prompt reflection. We're prone to wait until faced with adversity before pausing to assess our lives. But why are we so hesitant to proactively care for what truly matters?
For me, financial turmoil served as a catalyst for introspection, leading to profound revelations and the birth of what I now call the "reflection learning loop."
It starts with taking the time to reflect and write out your 1st person account of the events of the past. At the same time asking questions (there are many good one's provided last week by Vijay) but here are some of my favorites:
- What did I love?
- What did I hate?
- What did I learn?
- Where am I lost?
- What motive(s) are driving my feelings?
This in turn will help reveal newly found insights and awareness about yourself, your responses and your motivations.
From newfound awareness springs the question: So what, now what? This prompts intentional adjustments to our beliefs and priorities, reflected in how we invest our time.
Learning something about yourself is not power; it is potential power. You still need to take the learnings, adjust any beliefs that are holding you back and then bridge the behavior gap to reprioritize your life. This behavior modification will be reflected in your values which is represented by how and where you invest your time.
Ultimately, reflection isn't a one-time endeavor but a continuous cycle of growth. While simple in concept, it demands effort and commitment. As my friend and mentor Darren Hardy aptly puts it, "What is easy to do is also easy not to do."
I encourage you to embrace this "easy" practice of reflection, harnessing its transformative power to evolve into your best self. By integrating its lessons into your life, you'll embark on a journey of continuous growth and self-discovery.
