Over the past few weeks, I have been sharing about my experiences from last summer and how massive wild fires raged through our region, eventually forcing the evacuation of our community. I have been recalling this tumultuous moment in our lives and through reflection unpacking my lessons and learnings. If you want to get caught up on the story, you can read more HERE.
After 10 days away from home we were notified the evacuation mandate had been lifted. During our long drive back, I reflected on all the amazing and incredible events from our sudden and unexpected forced adventure. It was a non-obvious path that resulted in some of our best experiences and memories of that summer. However my thoughts quickly shifted to our home, and a sense of anxiety on what we would find on our return.
We drove into our community and could see the aftermath that had scarred the landscape. The grasses and wildflowers were gone revealing the stark and stoney ground beneath. Many of the tree's in the forest had charred trunks with the branches scorched red and black.
Despite the devastation in the region, our home remained standing. The fire had burned right to the edge of our backyard, but with the courageous efforts of the fire fighters our house had survived. We were overwhelmed with joy and gratitude walking through our front door knowing we would be sleeping in our own bed once again.
After settling in I decided to go for a walk to further explore the extent of the fire's impact. As I wandered through the burned forest I was amazed at the changes that took place. The fire had consumed everything in its path. It felt desolate and dreary having transformed from a once vibrant ecosystem into a barren wasteland.
As I continued down a path, I noticed something remarkable; small green shoots were starting to poke up through the soot covered earth. Miraculously in a very short period of time, new life was already starting to find a way forward. It suddenly dawned on me that this was a normal part of the life cycle of the forests. The trees and plants that made up the woodland had come to an end, and with their death it had cleared the way for new life to begin.
My sense of loss was suddenly replaced by a renewed hope that something good could grow out of this calamity. It was an important reminder that endings, while often hard and possibly tragic, also lead to new beginnings and with that the all important human need for hope.
When we experience loss, we will go through grief and find ourselves on an emotional rollercoaster, encountering denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Whether it is the loss of a job, failure of a business venture, the betrayal of a friend or the tragic loss of someone you love; loss initiates emotional insecurity.
Grieving a loss is a natural response that shouldn't be repressed; instead, it should be fully experienced and lived through. However, many people find themselves trapped in a cycle of repeatedly reliving and grieving the past, unable to move forward. It's only when we've moved through the stages of grief and arrived at a place of acceptance that we can then see that every loss comes with a new beginning and with that new possibilities.
In my book Start Up Santa, I share the story of being fired from a company I co-founded. My immediate reaction was one of pain, anger, and disbelief at what felt like a deep betrayal. I was hurt and driven to fight back, determined to correct the injustice. This response was instinctive for me, as I've always been a person of action, seeing endings as obstacles to be avoided or fixed. My actions initially were motivated by a desire to avoid both pain of loss.
It was only when I surrendered to what had happened and accepted that this chapter of my life had ended that I could embrace the possibilities of a new beginning. This fresh start eventually led to the inception and co-creation of the Pela and Lomi businesses. Both of these ventures have turned out to be a better fit for my life's design, offering far greater impact and a deeper sense of fulfillment. I had reconnected with my true purpose and passion and as a result, my lived experience was just as Seneca wisely stated: "Every new beginning comes from another beginning's end."
In the Christian tradition, death is seen as a necessary prelude to resurrection and to a promised better future and hope. Similarly the forest fires cause devastation and death however in the process, they also make way for new growth.
In our lives, we must recognize that some things must end for something new to flourish. If we don't embrace this reality, we risk getting stuck in the cycle of loss and viewing endings as failures, rather than seeing them for what they truly are—a gift and an opportunity for new growth.
It is easier said than done as our natural emotional response to loss is to resist it and requires time to reflect in order to learn, process and heal. This will ultimately lead to new hopes and with it, an oxygenation of our soul as a result of being inspired by the possibilities for a new beginning. In the words of Palmer Parker: "Each time a door closes the rest of the world opens up. All we need to do is to stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around - which puts the door behind us - and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls."
As you think about the endings in your life, take the time to process and to ask the following questions:
If you are experiencing an ending have you taken the necessary time to process the stages of grief?
What have you learned about the events and yourself as you reflect on the experience?
How can you look past the pain of your loss and start to move forward towards new beginnings?
