Whether you “work to live” or “live to work”, it’s easy for work to become a four-letter word.
If you’re in the work-to-live camp, the sheer number of hours we work, the added mental stress we carry outside of work hours and lack of purpose we often feel all take an immense toll on us. Because of this, it’s easy to curse our work. To wish we didn’t have to do it as much. To idolize the god who saves us every Friday, and to worship retirement as nirvana - our heaven on earth when we will no longer have to work.
This is understandable, but dangerous (and flawed, actually):
- Our bodies and minds cannot grind away at something we secretly (or openly) resent for 50 hours a week for 40 years without being physically and mentally affected.
- Our work and our co-workers will undoubtedly suffer if we are showing up every day with a deep desire to be somewhere else (even if it’s “anywhere but here”).
- Studies have shown that health and enjoyment actually decline when we have no work to do (i.e. retirement isn’t necessarily heaven on earth)
- Doing something simply for the paycheck can blind us to opportunities to do something else because we’re only evaluating the job opportunity based on the remuneration.
What’s the solution? In a minute…
What about the live-to-work crowd? If the work is an obsession, the scorecard a relentless master or the dopamine-driven accomplishment loop unending, work can also be a four-letter word (at least it might be to your loved ones!). You love to work, but this too - while harder to detect - is also dangerous:
- A wheel with one spoke longer than all the rest will be lopsided, out of balance. Under-investing in the other areas of life will leave them floundering; and since no one likes to feel like they’re floundering, the easiest thing to do is over-invest in where you feel successful. And so the lopsidedness continues
- While our work is a large part of what we do, it’s not a defining statement on who we are. But the more involved and invested we are in the work, the greater the risk of drawing our identity from it. In the short-term, this can lead to a manic self-identity as we ride the roller-coaster of successes and failures at work, letting them dictate how I feel about myself and my life. In the long-term this can lead to feelings of emptiness or even despair when termination, retirement or a health crisis means we stop working.
What’s the solution? It’s not actually a “What”, it’s a “Who”.
I have found that the most powerful question I can ask myself - whether i’m living to work or working to live (sometimes we do a bit of both), is “WHO?”, as in:
- Who am I serving at/with my work? Ultimately, our work becomes more rewarding when we realize that it’s helping, serving, bettering the lives of actual people (just like the work that others do, which they may not enjoy, has bettered my life)
- Who do I work with or for who needs me right now? Chances are there is someone in your sphere of influence at work who is facing a physical, mental, emotional, relational, spiritual or financial struggle; a battle which perhaps they are facing alone. You aren’t simply a unit of productivity. You are a person with an influence, and the work you’re meant to do isn’t just for your customers or stakeholders but also for your colleagues, bosses and employees
- Who is a group of people that needs what I have to give? This is perhaps the most powerful shift that can rescue our work from being simply a four-letter word. The world is full of groups of people who are malnourished, illiterate, trafficked, displaced and ignored. The work of fighting injustices and alleviating suffering isn’t just for NGOs and churches; it’s for all of us. And virtually all work we do can work towards these ends.
Reflect:
- Which of the above questions is most important for you right now?
- Who can you share this letter with and book a subsequent coffee/beer/dinner with to discuss further?
