How Life After New Years Resolutions Often Feels Off (And What a Wobbly Stool Can Teach Us About Why)

Written By: Brad Pedersen

Every January, we make resolutions.

Promises to eat better, exercise more and finally lose that weight.  

We spend hours researching workout plans, meal prep strategies, and fitness trackers, joining gyms and buying running shoes…the majority of which are abandoned by February.

Building businesses and associating with high achievers for thirty years has taught me a sobering lesson about New Year's resolutions and how we prioritize our lives. Most obsess over work, a few focus on health, fewer prioritize relationships, and almost no one stops to ask if they are living within their purpose.

The 3 Legged Stool

Think of a fulfilling life as a three-legged stool. We tend to obsess over the first leg, our physical health, with a religious fervor especially every January. We nail the physical because it is measurable and visible. This focus is justified; health is the cornerstone of true wealth. Without it, we simply lack the capacity to lean into the other two pillars.

Beyond personal health lie our relationships. As we have shared many times, these are not just a "nice to have" luxury; they are essential to our survival. Studies have proven that the quality of your relationships at age 50 is a more accurate predictor of your health and vitality at age 80 than either exercise or diet.

However, the third leg is where most high achievers stumble. We often overlook the vital question: Is my work and daily activity aligned with my true purpose? We ignore it because “purpose” feels too philosophical or difficult to quantify in a spreadsheet.

Yet, if you look at the people who are truly thriving, those who possess a sense of peace that does not fluctuate, you will find they have mastered the integration of all three. When one leg is missing, the stool cannot stand. 

When all three are aligned, you create a life that is not just successful, but stable, powerful and effective.

The True Value Of Purpose

Dr. Robert Butler, a pioneer in longevity research, found that people with a strong sense of purpose live up to seven years longer than those without one. 

This insight plays out in real life in Okinawa, Japan, home to some of the world’s longest-living people. There, they practice ikigai, a concept meaning “a reason for being”. This is often illustrated as a tidy Venn diagram where passion, mission, vocation, and profession intersect.

But in Okinawa, ikigai is not a diagram, it is a daily practice. Elders continue to garden, volunteer, care for grandchildren, and stay connected to their communities. They do not “retire” from activity, rather they remain engaged, useful, and rooted in their purpose.

While the ikigai model offers a helpful framework, it can also carry a misleading message: that purpose must be validated by what we get paid for. But payment is not the right metric, for two reasons: Firstly, compensation follows value creation. Secondly, not all valuable work comes with a paycheck.

If we judged purpose by income alone, how would we explain the life of Mother Teresa? Some of the most purpose-driven people raise families, serve in nonprofits, care for aging parents, and build communities. Their work may never appear on a spreadsheet, but its value is undeniable.

The deeper truth behind ikigai is not about perfect alignment or external rewards. It is about inner clarity. It is waking up with a sense of meaning. It is showing up for something bigger than ourselves.

Whether or not that purpose comes with a job title or a salary is secondary; the real reward is a life of intentional contribution which leads to deep fulfillment.

Four Keys To Finding Your Purpose

Asking the question "What is my purpose?" or, otherwise stated, "Why am I here?" is not just philosophical; it is deeply practical.

Discovering purpose is about stewardship of the gifts we have been given, aligning our intentions with what we truly value, and asking ourselves: Am I living in a way that reflects my God-given potential? 

To answer that question, we believe there are four essential keys to unlocking our purpose:

• Identity: Understanding who we are "being" at our core, beyond what we "do" or "have," and who we ultimately want to become. This is not about your job title or your net worth; it is about your character, your values, and the person you are when no one is watching. Most of us find our identity in our roles: CEO, founder, parent, or leader. Instead, it is about asking: Who do you want your 80-year-old self to become?
• Fit: Assessing the skills we have been entrusted with and how we choose to apply them. What are you naturally good at? What have you developed through years of discipline and practice? This is about stewardship; you have been given specific talents, experiences, and opportunities. The question is: Are you using them where they matter most?
• People: Purpose is first and foremost about “who”, not “what”. Any purpose that isn’t oriented towards those we are meant to help will ultimately become narcissistic. Who are you here for? Who depends on you? Who grows and thrives because you are in their life? Your purpose is not just about you; it is about the people your life touches: your family, your team, your community, and your customers.
• Value: Recognizing how our creativity, problem-solving, and energy bring tangible benefits to the world around us. What unique contribution do you create? What problems do you solve that would go unsolved without you? This is not about grandiose world-changing aspirations; it is about the specific impact FOR the people you serve, through the team you lead, the products you build, and the problems only you can solve in the way you solve them.

Taking the time to truly reflect and answer these questions will help you move from vague ideas about purpose to a concrete understanding. It is the path from wondering what your purpose might be to actually discovering it and living it out every single day.

Living On Purpose

The truth is, most people are too busy being busy. They will never take the time to ensure their most precious gift, their life, is being directed toward their most purposeful pursuits.

Living on purpose is not accidental; it is a conscious choice made every single day. When your purpose becomes clear, it offers more than just direction. It brings a deep, sustaining sense of fulfillment that goes far beyond any achievement or milestone.

Take care of your body and invest in your physical well-being. 

Show up fully present for your most important people. 

But do not ignore purpose. Do not let it stay nebulous or abstract, and do not assume it will figure itself out while you are occupied with everything else.

Without purpose, the stool of your life will remain unstable and unbalanced. 

You can be healthy and still feel lonely.

 You can have great relationships and still feel deeply unfulfilled. 

But when you add purpose to the mix, everything aligns in a way that creates true wealth across the full spectrum of your life. You finally know why you are taking care of your health and what you are building with your relationships.

As we step into this year, I am not asking you to stop making resolutions about diet and exercise. I am asking you to set a resolution that will help you get clear on the purpose for your life. To invest the time necessary to discover why you are really here. 

So this week, ask yourself: What am I doing to discover and live out my purpose this year?

If you want to learn more about the Full Spectrum process for discovering your life purpose, simply reply to this email with the word "PURPOSE" and we will arrange to send you the framework.