Why I Quit Social Media And How I Came Back Different

Written By: Brad Pedersen

Back in 2018, I made a decision many people in my world thought was strange: I walked away from social media.

All of it.  No dramatic announcement.

No farewell post; I just stopped.

At the time, a few things were becoming painfully clear to me. First, I could feel the pull to scroll; the slow drip of hours disguised as staying connected.

Second, and this one was harder to admit, social media was feeding a propensity towards anxiety that I was increasingly wrestling with. Every time I opened an app, I found myself measuring myself against someone else's curated highlight reel; and feeling bad about why I had not done more with my life. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy.”  I was being robbed daily and didn't even realize it.

Finally there was a growing awareness of the potential damage of screen time and social networks. I was checking my phone close to a hundred times daily, often without even realizing it.

It is a phenomenon that none of us can ignore, pervasive across all of society, indirectly feeding an epidemic of loneliness. Our nervous systems are wired for small groups; face-to-face contact, eye contact, vocal tone, and the warmth of physical proximity. Instead, however, we've built an environment of constant social exposure without any of the relational safety that makes the connection actually nourishing. Through our social channels, we’re pulled into comparison without context and visibility without belonging

As a result the U.S. Surgeon General has called loneliness and social isolation a public health crisis, comparing its impact to smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.

So I walked away, and for a while, it was one of the healthiest decisions I have ever made.

The Irony I Couldn't Ignore

Here's where it gets interesting. Around the same time I had exited the toy space and then co-founded a new business. Ironically that business was a direct-to-consumer brand that relied heavily on social media as part of the marketing and customer acquisition strategy.

To this day, social media is the backbone for how we communicate and message the value of our brands. We use it to grow, to reach customers, and to tell the story of our products every single day.

The apparent hypocrisy wasn't lost on me. I was building companies that depended on the very platforms I believed were unhealthy for me, and that I had chosen to walk away from. For me it was a necessary choice at that point in my life and I justified it based on an important distinction; there's a difference between using social media and consuming it.

It is said that it is easier to avoid the dragon than to try and slay it. For me at that point in my life, social media was a dragon that I needed to avoid. It was ok to use it; just not to consume it.

That distinction helped keep my mental sanity in check for several years.

Why I Came Back

I have lived a very adventurous life and with that I have chosen to track my experiences through journaling.  I have found that writing has been one of the most important tools to help me process my thoughts and to make sense of my life.

Reviewing my journals helped me with publishing a book a couple years ago and with that a growing pull to start posting content online once again.  It was partially to reveal some of my ongoing self learnings but also as a result of some encouragement from close friends who believed my content would be helpful for others.

Furthermore, Vijay and I had started down the path of building out the Full Spectrum program. It is models and frameworks that we have witnessed first hand as being helpful for business leaders, in living more intentional and integrated lives.

The final push I needed came from my coach, who had pointed out something I hadn't considered; that building a reservoir of thinking purely for myself was (in his words) selfish.

He used an analogy that stuck with me. The Dead Sea receives water but has no outlet. It keeps everything contained; and as a result, nothing lives in it. The Sea of Galilee, by contrast, receives water and spills it out into other bodies of water; and it's teeming with life.

Same source; different result. One hoards and one gives, however only one is truly alive.

That reframing changed something in me. I realized that several years of thinking, reflecting, and learning had value beyond my own journal. It wasn't enough to simply process privately; I decided that at some point, the generous thing to do was to let it flow outward.

However I decided that with the draw to return to posting content once again that this time it was not for chasing “likes” nor the dopamine hits that come with it; but rather to attempt to meaningfully contribute.

So I decided to return but on a controlled and limited basis.

When Sharing Becomes Performing

I needed a platform to start to share my philosophy and thinking and decided to focus on LinkedIn. While it carries the same potential time-suck and comparison traps as every other social network, in general, the conversations lean toward growth; both in business and in life. It felt like the right soil to plant something in.

What I didn’t expect was how quickly old patterns would creep back in. Shortly after returning, I found myself subtly shifting focus: watching which posts gained traction, which ideas got shared, and which messages sparked engagement. My initial motives were about creating impact, and to some extent, that was true.

But there’s a subtle yet significant difference between sharing because I genuinely believe the content matters and sharing because I think it might perform well. That line can be easy to blur, but our true motives will always surface over time. One approach is transactional, driven by what we might gain. The other is transformational, driven by a desire to give, serve, and create real value for others.

When we try to solve internal fulfillment with external validation, we are connecting to an unsustainable fuel source. It might power us for a moment, but it fades fast. We are left needing another hit, another like, another signal that we are okay. It becomes a loop of looking outward to feel complete inward, and that never lasts.

The only sustainable path to fulfillment is inward. It is about living with integrity (aligning your actions with your values) and then speaking from a place of vulnerability and conviction. It’s about letting your voice reflect your authentic self rather than focusing on how well something might perform.

When I started optimizing for reach, I was slowly becoming a broadcaster instead of a person with something real to say. The connection I wanted to create was being quietly replaced by curation, which felt contrived.

A Quieter Way to Show Up

One of the most important distinctions I’ve learned in this season of my life is the difference between attention and attunement.

Attention is self-focused; it asks, How am I being perceived? What am I gaining? It comes from focusing on what you can gain from an audience. Attunement, however, is others-focused. It comes from truly seeing and listening, asking instead, Who am I here to serve, and how can I show up in a way that meets their real needs?

One is driven by performance, the other by intentional presence, and the impact is entirely different.  It is with seeking attunement that I continue to share socially, and  it’s with a different posture than how I have posted before. There’s no pressure for content to perform or convert but rather the joy has come as a result of the “authentic” (not ai generated) comments and conversations that come as a result.

I’m no longer posting with the expectation that it needs to achieve something. Instead, I see it as a space to document what I’m thinking about, a place to share the learnings from my journey, all the while extending an open invitation for others to join in the conversation.

If something I write helps a founder rethink their priorities or gives an overwhelmed executive permission to pause and reflect, then is it worth it, as that’s what matters most to me.  I’m not measuring my success transactionally, by the likes but rather transformationally by who the message can serve.

Final Thoughts: Reflect and Realign

The shift has felt healthier, lighter and more aligned with living out my purpose. And in many ways it brought me back to a truth I keep returning to: achievement without fulfillment is the ultimate failure in life.

We believe at Full Spectrum that when ambitious people align what they do with who they truly are, and are meant to be, then the results aren't just better, they're different in kind. It is how we  find more meaning in our work,  greater impact with how we use our resources and, most importantly, deeper connections with the most important people in our life.

That's where true wealth is found,  and it's available to anyone willing to stop long enough to consider their life and then make the meaningful changes to pursue it.

So this week, ask yourself:

Am I sharing my life authentically, or am I performing to try and validate it?

Is the time I spend online building real connection, or quietly replacing it?

What would change if I stopped optimizing for attention and started investing in attunement?

Your true wealth isn't waiting in the next viral post or the next milestone; it's sitting right next to you, asking for your time and attention.

Share with someone who needs to see this today!

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P.S. When you're ready, there are three ways you can access more of our teachings:

• Visit our website for blogs, quick videos and key teachings. Click Here to access.
• Read the book Start Up Santa and discover non-obvious business lessons revealed by timeless toys. You can get it HERE or HERE.
• If you are curious about what it means to live your life to the full, then we invite you to apply for the Full Spectrum Mastermind. This is a curated experience for accomplished leaders ready to move from striving to understand how to truly thrive in life. Register now to be considered - this isn't for everyone, and that's by design.

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